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Not Sharing

October 23, 2011

Growing up, one of the most common refrains we heard from the adults around us involved some version of coaxing us to share.  As a parent, I hear myself repeating it over and over to my son.  I even get a bit peeved when another child won’t share something that I expect a child that age would share with my children.

This morning as I prepared my coffee it hit me – I don’t share!

What? A grown adult who doesn’t share? How childish!  Isn’t it?  What about all the refrains we repeat to children as they are growing designed to groom them for the future?

“Don’t hit your sister.”

“Don’t throw toys.”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full.”

“Brush your teeth.”


I don’t know about you but I find that most adults don’t hit each other, throw toys, talk with their mouths full and most at least occasionally brush their teeth without being told.  There are definitely people who as grown adults do continue to misbehave but we wouldn’t label them as highly functional socially – and I am certain that each of them has their excuse – everyone blames their parents.

Now, why is it the average adult doesn’t share?

Every play date I have been to, every classroom I have visited the command to share with others is repeated ad nauseam.

Adults who do share are few and far between.  What do I mean by sharing?  Well, someone who always gives of what they have, even if it means that they lose out.  A few examples; someone needs a place to sleep for the night – a person who shares would give up their own bed and sleep on the couch/blow-up mattress/floor what have you.  Lending someone your car when they truly need it. (Can you imagine not having your own car at your disposal?)  A person bakes something they really like and serves it to their guests with the possibility that there won’t be anything left for themselves.

So what made me realize that I don’t share?

I baked a double batch of chocolate chip cookies.  Now I personally prefer chewy cookies.  All of the trays except the last that I baked came out crispy.  Here is the bad part – I stashed away the chewy cookies.  I have been eating them by myself sneakily defrosting a few  at a time and eating them alone.

How terrible!

How selfish of me!  Especially now that I see it in writing it is really sinking in.  That is one ugly midda (character trait) to have my friends.  I need to stop excusing myself for being selfish and not sharing.

As soon as I realized what I had been doing I made a firm decision to stop this midda in its tracks.  Even though no one was around to see if I would have taken out my special reserved chewy cookies, when I prepared my coffee this morning I drank it with the crunchy cookies( albeit  they were submerged in the coffee instead of eaten in the hand).  I will take out my secret stash from the freezer and put it into the cookie jar with the rest of the cookies.

There are so many books and short stories written about selfless people and I always read them with such admiration.  “Wow”, I think to myself, “I wish I could be like that.”  I wasn’t able to put my finger on what made me so different from those people I so much want to emulate.  I think this morning’s revelation is the main stumbling block that has kept me out of the selfless category.

I remember growing up there were food items in the house that were forbidden to me; a special ice cream only for one family member, oreos for another, etc.  Of course if you have a child or ever were a child you can bet your bottom dollar that I found ways to eat some of them when no one was looking.  I even made sure to spoon out the ice cream in the same manner it was before so no one would notice it had been eaten.  (There I go – blaming my parents!)

Now that I realize that I have identified the problem I will work to correct it.  After all, when we grow up aren’t we supposed to be able to share?


Do you know how to share? Or do you also have trouble sharing? Any suggestions on how we can work on becoming selfless instead of selfish?

While I am working on becoming selfless I will share the chewy chocolate chip cookie recipe with you!


2 cups flour

1/2 teas. baking soda

1/2 teas. salt

3/4 cup mayonaisse

1 cup brown sugar

1/2 cup sugar

1 tbls. vanilla extract

2 eggs

1/2 pkg. chocolate chips


Mix eggs, sugar and mayo together.   Add baking soda to flour making sure there are no chunks (just rub it between your fingers before adding) then mix into everything else.  Bake in a preheated oven at 325 degrees Farenheit for about 15 minutes.  This should produce 18 big cookies.  If you make them smaller reduce baking time or they will not be chewy!


2 Comments leave one →
  1. October 27, 2011 5:43 am

    I guess I am selfish because I would also keep aside the chewy cookies! But to be fair, I don’t think the kids would really appreciate the difference.

    • October 27, 2011 8:25 am

      I agree that they wouldn’t appreciate it as much, cookies are cookies to children! They will be thrilled either way.

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